Look for the Good

July 1st, 2024

Today we celebrate a big win in my large-little family. Seems like since June 19th, we’ve been having a whole lot of wins, despite needing to replace a hot water heater, a part on the AC unit during a heatwave, the kitchen sink and the stuff that keeps the fridge and freezer doors sealed. We lost a dear friend and her child, and maybe that shouldn’t be thrown in there with all the appliance woes, but you get the point. It’s been an extended moment of searching for the good among the difficult.

I think in some way, the loss contributed to the overwhelming sense that life is too short to be mad all the time about something that happened months or years ago. Having lost my dad just a little while ago, one would think that those sorts of lessons wouldn’t be so easily forgotten, but I’m human and easily distracted. 🤷

Back to the win, which ends an eight years long uphill battle with my youngest daughter’s epilepsy. I’m just so happy. I can’t even begin to explain without going into detail about what this means to our family and what it means to me. If you’ve ever had a child with difficulties, you understand what I’m talking about, to feel so powerless when they’re hurting or on what appears to be the verge of dying. I’ll never forget every single time she had a “big one.” The silent panic, the lights, the sirens, the constant fear that she wasn’t going to be our Rosie when she woke up again. All of it just packaged tightly now in the recesses of my mind, with this incredible knowing that we don’t ever have to go back there.

I know how fortunate we are. I don’t deserve any of this. I was incredibly impatient walking through that chapter. I doubted we would ever get to this point. There was a time I was indifferent about it, in order to “get through” the hard times. Maybe that was a coping mechanism to compartmentalize my daughter from the medical needs she had. I know that the alcohol consumption played a part in numbing the pain and anger I felt having to deal with the sleepless nights and epileptic episodes. I felt it unfair that my daughter had such a hard issue.

I look around at my life and I’m so incredibly fortunate to be so undeserving. I don’t know why but maybe it’s because I naturally look for silver linings. Maybe you can see it, if you’re looking for it. Maybe too, that’s too simple an explanation to things, with so many hurting and without in the world today. Or maybe it’s supposed to be that simple. I don't know but I feel like a lot of times we make everything harder than it has to be.

Last week, I overheard a conversation about something that used to upset me. It was a subject that I found deserved a massive eye-rolling and a shake of the head, each time this subject was brought up. Well, I heard a different perspective on this subject and this realization hit me, that when we don’t have the full story, it’s easier to only see our side, which in turn, isn’t the full story.

We make it about us. About how we feel and how it affected us either directly or indirectly. It's unfortunately, more of that glorified pessimism I spoke of last time.

One side is just the surface. It’s like that titanic iceberg, you only see part of the equation. There’s other sides. What I took as a major sigh moment, was actually a great thing for the other people in the equation. They saw it as a blessing, thus, the cringe moment was actually good.

For example, our AC broke and we were HOT for three days. It was the weekend. The part was ordered. We had to make do without. The part arrived and it wasn’t exactly right, so J went to SABO and met a guy who informed him that they make house calls on the weekend and gave much needed advice on AC units and parts and what we could try. Yes, the three days sucked, but J wouldn’t have met John and information would not have been gained for next time.

I think that’s why I share these stories. We aren’t strong if we have no community. It’s that part about the three-stranded cord in Ecclesiastes.

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT

The pandemic taught us how to isolate.

It taught us how to rely on ourselves. I’m not saying that isn’t a good skill to have, but when walking through something terrifying, how much better to know there’s someone who’s already walked through it before you. I wish more of us would take that position, open our hearts and mouths and speak life into someone else’s hardship and help carry them through. Lord knows, I’ve been carried a few times before and that’s one of the ways I got to where I’m at.

Prayer, understanding, and actual care taking are things that help make up that triple-braided cord that so many of us desperately need in our lives right now. I’m just so thankful for the people that God has put in place in my life. Some I may never meet but others I see daily. I'm so grateful for all of you and God's timing. Whew, to be on the other side of some of those battles! They were doozies, y'all.

Yet, here we are. 🥹

Hallelujah!

For reals.

My prayer is that all who read this will receive strength in their hardships and will be at peace and able to face the days ahead, in celebration of what the Lord has done in my own life.

Look for the good. You may just find it. ❤️